I’m not feeling so swell. All night I felt miserable while I was “supposed” to be asleep, but often am not. I was more miserable than normal. When daylight came and I got out of bed (I ususally, during such nights do sleep a bit right before and after dawn, also sometime earlier in the evening for an hour or two or more, often having waking anywhere between 1 and 5 am or before even.) Not that this should alarm anyone reading, I am officially “a nightowl”, have been since I was more aware of myself. I have memories to when I was Two, and they are vivid, but fuller awareness of self came when I began reading voraciously at age 8. I was a nightowl before that, but became super-aware at that time and know for certain of my nightactivitybrainness from that point on.

Anyhow, I’ve had a scratchy throat the last few days off and on, with it getting moreso persistent the last day or so. I’ve been really stuffy headed too, since when the children exibited illness symptoms. I also equate that with around when the A/C window units were fired up. Not that they are what made us sick, but it’s all co-incidental as well as tied together. The A/C conditions exasperate my allergic or their virus and my allergic/virus symptoms. A/C never has totally alleviated any allergies I get. I’m mostly allergic to molds and dust-ish things, not really cats, they only bother me with fur in my face if I’m already over-the-top symptomatic from something else.

So I’m trying to understand myself with what’s going on, like right now, I felt worse the last hour or so, gratingly scratchy throat, nearly rubbed raw feeling, occassional sneezes, nothing too big. My main allergy is usually sinuses clogging up hard-ish feeling. It’s that pressure behind the eyes, in the forehead, and eventually feeling like you can barely breathe through your nose though there is nothing to blow out with normal nose blowing. Gross, yeah, but that’s the nature of this post, about how I am feeling

My throat thing is connected to my upper chest area. Yesterday I felt that getting itchy and my voice got rougher for awhile, then it lightened up. Today I felt it begin again. It COULD be connected with virus or allergy AND what’s going on in the weather. Yesterday I felt like that, and then we went out to Costco. On the way down the road, just a few miles, we hit a thunderstorm and a few miles later there was hail in the rain. So that’s a pre-weather event sort of illness from yesterday. Today I feel like this the last hour or so, and Frank just came in all wet. He was mowing the backyard and said upon entering the house “it’s pouring, I mowed for 10 minutes longer once it started to rain.” So there, that’s another tale about weather when I am feeling icky like this. The sky was a bit cloudy earlier, but not looking like rain. I was outside a few times this morning. Since feeling worse I did go outside and noted the heavy dark clouds forming, and so I can say for certain that it SEEMS to be a connection.

I’ve often noted that I love rain and thunderstorms, and feel icky when storms are coming in. I love them emotionally for how they are, but physically they do not make me well. It’s the pressure, no doubt. Low pressure systems do a job on me. My allergies get worse, and I connect that with mold spores. I’ve read that mold spores do burst when low pressure systems go through, at some point. I don’t know the first thing about it past that, but can understand that I have physical evidence in my own life to say there’s something to it for sure.

On a side note here: I love being in the mountains, like when we go to the Smoky Mountains every so often. I always feel better there overall. I still get allergies, sure, but overall I feel better and the allergies aren’t so bad.

It’s not the lack of cats. I feel worse when I go shopping that when I am home. Shopping in stores gets me scratch throated. It fades as I am away from it longer. We did go to stores last night, but only Costco and Harry’s (grocery market), neither of them are the worst offenders to how I feel bad when I go shopping. It’s malls and clothing and furniture stores. It’s enclosed chemical overage I am guessing.

Some hotels are like that for me too. So getting away from home isn’t relief from allergies and sensitivities.

I do have high-sensitivities that I am aware of, and figure into that chemical sensitivities as well. I am a “canary” as in “canary in a coal mine”.

The main point of this post is that I’m not sure what it is with me though, this high scratchy throat and congesting chest feeling that comes and goes. I have gotten like this a couple of other times since we got the A/C, and I thought I was getting sick when the children were, that it was that, but it wasn’t. Odd other times during my life I’ve felt allergies like this, but sometimes it’s not an allergy, viruses do start like this. So I wonder every time it starts, is it a virus or just allergies.

I used to take anti-histamines, but stopped doing that. I’ve had prescriptions before a few times, but don’t do that either. I have over-the-counter Sudafed’ed my stuffy-symptoms with 1/2-doses when it’s bad, not all the time, just when it gets bad.

This leads to the next thing I want to mainly point out: Sudafed gets a bad rap because Meth producers use it to make meth. The last few years have caused Sudafed to be under a microscope in sales departments, and it has gone down the road to be “you can only buy X amount at a time” to now being suddenly we found none on the shelves of the stores last time we got some (very recently) … only a new formula Sudafed PE … which is not what works for me. It’s a one-pill dose of 10mg of whatever version of decongestant it is, but it’s not the ususal “Sudafed”. We found out yesterday at Costco that the “original Sudafed” is still available, but THEY will not be carrying it. Other stores will have it only behind the counter, you have to ask the pharmacy attendant for it and in order to purchase it your vital information must be taken down. Urg.

So it’s just one step from being a controled substance … oh, it really is controlled. It’s not only behind the counter, it’s only sold if you are willing to tell them who you are, where you live, etc. You can’t just go in with cash and buy it. It used to on the shelf, now it’s behind the counter and you must be non-anonymous to get it.

I am not in favour of such things. I am not desirous to use it anymore. I didn’t want to use a drug to get rid of my stuff head. I hate using the stuff, I 1/2 my dosage long ago though, and found it a happy medium to use when I needed to. I know I would prefer a natural alternative, and leaned on the crutch of it’s availability so never tried to get natural about it all. Now I’m forced because of my beliefs in government, politics, and all that to not really ever get any of it. But I did just ask Frank to get me some, since I’ve had it really bad the last … whatever, and that it’s the “new” formula of Sudafed that was in the house and I hadn’t seemed to notice it. The pill is taller and not shiny … and the box say’s “new” on it, small area though, and the name has PE after it. I did not buy it, Frank did. I just used it as the other boxes in the past. I know the white and red box and the red pills and the way they are in the foil thingy and there was to many similarities with the old box and pill for me to take a closer look until I finally did because I just wasn’t feeling like it was helping me … and it is then I saw it was new, and that it was a different drug and different dose and the pill was actually bigger. It explained alot. I must say in my defence I took the junk in the morning, waking up and feeling yucky, and I am NOT a morning person at all. So I just didn’t look at it, had no reason to.

So my real thinking on this all is that my head needs cleared and “real” Sudafed does that well in a 1/2 dose, one pill a day, or maybe that first one and then another one pill 5 or 6 hours later. Traditionally, I may have a day or two like that, and then go a week or more, a month or more, with no need for it. It’s more often, then less often, then more, or none, then some, not much, then none, then more, that sort of thing.

If I can live with allergies I do. They just get to a point sometimes that I’m stuffy and need relief. So that’s where I am now. Sudafed PE doesn’t do it for me. I need the real stuff and then I may be able to get away from it again. I’ve been away from it before for a long, long time. I get “weak” and start up using it again, it’s easy to use and does the trick. That’s the weakness to it.

So along those lines I got a pack of “Sea Spray” from Costco yesterday. I’m not totally friendly to that sort of stuff, I feel like I’m drowning when I use it, for a second or two. I know it’s not bad for me, just a sensory thing I have a hard time with. We used to have that stuff around years ago, when we lived in Florida. That place was bad for me. I was needing all kinds of things there. Here in GA is better, yet more mold prone I think. Winters we have freezings, but overall the winters are mild. Pollen is nil then, but mold lives. At least the basic air around is better in winter. I love winter. Exept for going anywhere that uses un-natural heating. Wood is best. Heat pump heat is alright-ish. Electric heat is horrid. I can’t hardly breathe in that heat. I feel like, “I’m suffocating” similar to the “sea spray ‘I’m drowning’ feeling” but it’s worse since it’s as if there is little “O” to breathe in electric heat, for me that’s how it is. So many that use it put it up so high though, and that’s half the trouble with it. I love how our house is in the winter now, with just one fireplace and using blankets at night in layers, and wearing silk and wool to stay warm during the day. The house can be in the 50′s F. and I don’t feel cold anyhow. Others might feel chilly, so that’s where warm clothing comes in handy. The air is so breathable in such cases though. It’s natural and full of the big “O” we need. There is something about dry-ness in it, but that’s not the full thing. Hot electric homes or buildings with humidifyers on doesn’t help the situation with me.

Cooler air with wood heat and humidifying is nice, on the other hand, for those really cooler drier air times of winter, when they come, those lovely high pressure blue sky days of low temps. Then I just put a pot on the stove full of water, cinnamon sticks and whole cloves. Simmer away water, and fill the air with moisture and yummy smells of winter! Wood heat sticks better with moisture. All heat does, of course. The only heat, in my book, to want that with is gentel heat, as wood is the premier version of such.

It’s still Summer and I’m talking of Winter weather. I’m looking forward to it, and still feeling it’s not that far off, that “light” issue with less light than ever at the back of the house since the A/C window install, I wrote about that the other day.

I’ve been seeing flocks of blackbirds when we are out too. Since the last couple of weeks of July it’s been something I’ve seen every so often when we are out driving. It’s an “autum” sort of thing, as if they are readying themselves for the big grouping they do. So I have this sense inside that maybe it’ll be earlier this year than usual. Maybe not. Maybe it’s something normal and I just have never seen it before, this early. Oh well. I’m on record, just in case we have an earlier fall or winter or a hard one of either or both.

Speaking of nature, the bluebird nesting box has been sitting on our deck. Russell made a birdhouse from a kit awhile back, and it’s workable, but is not openable by humans to clean it out, so I never liked the thought of it being used. Anyhow it was out of the deck and we noticed a male Bluebird checking it out, so we rushed into the garage and got out the bluebird nesting box and stuck it on the deck near the other one. That was over a month ago. Nothing came of it right away, but the last few weeks they got interested in it again and built a nest. Last week there were two beautiful bluebird eggs in the nest. I left it alone and saw Mrs. Bluebird around, but wasn’t able to watch the box for her in and out-ness, since the A/C in the kitchen blocks the views of the backyard entirely. I only saw her when I was in the backyard doing henny stuff.

So I was out of it the last few days and wasn’t outside, others did stuff for the hennies. I went out today and saw the box and went up and looked in, no Mrs. Bluebird, and just one blue egg. There was one missing. And the one egg there just felt warm as the air, so it’s not being sat on. I can’t figure where the other egg went to. There are no remains anywhere to be found. I haven’t seen any horrid birds, not that they couldn’t have done something stealth-like, but I haven’t even seen one around since I took the bluebird box down from it’s old install in the back of the yard when House Sparrows built a nest and started a clutch being layed. I found that, smashed the eggs, destroyed the nest, and took the box down for good. But it got back up since the child-built one was there, and maybe shouldn’t have been. The beautious blue birds wanted a nesting and so I gave them one, but something caused them to abandon it or something worse happened.

I can hardly wait to get the kitchen more straightened out –$ to buy the doors we need and install them, then we can see into the backyard easily again. I am a bird watcher and haven’t watched birds in so long. My last binoculars were ruined by Asa, so I’m out of binoculars again anyhow. Half the reason for less to no bird watching is that the big cedar feeder in the backyard fell over and broke in a storm we had last year. Never had the chance to replace it since. I also used to always put out Hummingbird Feeders, I have only one though now, the others all broke. Just one very nice glass decoritive one, and it’s on the front porch and not that visible unless you stand right at the door. Birds would come and go so fast you hardly could watch their front porch activity in the past. Our back feeders alway got more activity anyhow. So I haven’t even once got that feeder down this year. Bad me. It sits out there looking nice, but is totally empty.

Last year was a bad year for me, loosing the baby so early. This year was anniversary of it and tough and a climb up ever since early Spring, but still hard for me. I find this the main cause for my lack of birding, lack of gardening, lack of much progress in many things. Lately it’s gotten weirder for me too, in ways I can’t really write out, but it’s all just thinking sorts of things that would appear too crazy to write down.

But I’m trying to pull up myself and get painting going again. I have the A/C now, sore throat or not I can paint. I just need to get the walls more ready. I’ve not gotten it all done yet. It’s taking longer than I meant it to. The children get the walls so dirty, it’s a lot of washing to get the walls ready to sand a bit, and fill holes. I guess I’ll close this rambling post and go do some more washing. Mr. Clean Magic Erasers have really been a great help in this job. Still, it’s hard. So be it. It’ll be worth it when it’s a nice blue instead of the light tan color there now that isn’t very bright and cheery.