Russell’s Wavey Hair Comes Out

I mentioned in a post about Asa’s hair the other day that Russell seems to have a slight wave to his hair, as if it’ll get curlier later on maybe … today I noticed that he had a ringlet.

He was playing in his room and it was very hot in there. I looked closer to the nape of his neck and his hair had formed into several loose lovely botticelli curls, the underlayment hair in the back only. On top it was straight.

So I decided to experiment on him. I trimmed the back of his hair a bit later, just to even it up and make it a bit shorter in the back than it had been, it had grown much longer in the back than the sides. So I evened it up some, and then wet it down and gave him a light conditioner-only wash. Then I combed all the tangles out, he had a lot …which is a clue to waviness itself, IMO. So then I put a bit of hair gel in and mussed it up, scrunchy way, to help develop waves. His hair was happy to obey that session when still wet. It wasn’t straight as a stick all over at all. I hadn’t really tried that ever with his hair, usually just combing it out after a shampoo and letting it dry or blowdrying it. So here it was, a conditioning wash and natural dry with some gel. His ringlet underlayment developed on it’s own. The sides got a wave to the edge and stayed back, not falling into his face as straight hair as it has always done after a blow dry or a shampooing sort of treatment and then a week of no shampooing.

What I am knowing is that it has been hot and humid lately. That will bring out the wave in someone’s hair if it’s there. I was actually thinking about it the other day that he actually doesn’t have such straight hair as I might have considered it was earlier in his life, and looking back I can see that slight hint to waviness. He has what can become a botticelli thing, I think. Straighter on top, heavier overlayment and much curlier underneath.

So if he is like me, with the conditioner treatment way he can wet his hair down everyday to refresh the curliness … and that will aide him with having longer hair, keeping it back instead of hanging blah in the way. It’ll be characteristic of a cuter him too. It’s all long enough to pull back into a handsome male ponytail, the front being shorter still, but holding in there alright if pulled back and smooshed into place before securing. It’s a style that I like for him, as his face is interesting, has angular fine features of a sort that a short haircut looks weird on him, but longer hair fine, and pulled back looks “artistic male like” artsy, snobby, intellectual … as much as a 9-year-old little boy can look like that. He’s growing up though, his face has changed dramatically the last few years. My own hair as a child was mildly wavey and got really unavoidably curly in my early teens. For my children I am here knowing what to do with curly hair, when I was a child no one had a clue, neither did I until I was a lot older. I tried to blow it out all the time, and shampooed it to death, chemically straightened it and somehow still retained my own head of hair. So I’m here to help my wavey children. Experience taught me well, no need for them to have horrid experiences!

Asa’s Ratty Hair Fixed Up

This past weekend I de-rats-nested Asa’s hair. He has wavy hair, soft waves, and in the back it just gets snarled all up easily, if I don’t specially care for it EVERY day, which is the problem. I have just “let it go” on most days if we are going nowhere, as is often the case. You can “brush” or “comb” curly hair, it frizzes it out something horrible and damages it. Wavy hair is the same, yet not as bad. For Asa, his gets puffy funny if combed out when it’s been washed last a few days before.

So I do have to give him a daily finger combing, I do that for myself, surely should do that for him! I “washed” his hair with conditioner when I de-nested his hair. It ended up being so nice. It was a painful time, but worth every ounce of my patience and that little boys painful howling here and there as I unsnarled the dead hair matted into the living hair. He mentions “scissors” as being something to use a few times, and I told him “no way!”

His hair is longer on the sides now, it hangs down and the curl is showing there and int he front finally. Curls have to be allowed to come out on heads that have them. Many don’t know the lovely waves they would have if they just “let it grow out”. His hair is curling out and under now, a full wave effect and it’s really cut on him. I have it parted on the side, and am trying to get him to naturally finger comb it lightly over his forehead so that it arches up to sweep to the side cutely. He’s more into smashing it backwards so far, which defeats the curling, but I have the patience to work it out with him.

Boys with hair are often seen as “girls” when we go out. My boys are. It’s frightfully bothersome to me, they look like boys and dress like boys, the little girl with us has long pretty hair and where’s dresses, skirts, etc. No pants. I, the Mother, wear dresses and skirts, etc. No pants. So why would the Daddy be dressed like a boy, and two females be dressed like girls, but two other children be dressed like boys and be called girls? Their hair isn’t girly, it’s boy cute. I hold that girls should have longer hair than boys and they sure do in our family.

Anyhow, Asa has the cutest curls and he’s really coming into his curls nicely now. His best shortest length is above the shoulders, below the chin, but tapered from front to back a bit. I say curls, and mean soft curls, otherwise known as “waves”.

He and me need frequent wetting downs, but not shampoos. He can get a light shampoo with a very gentle shampoo every now and then. I need no shampoo and lots of conditioner. He needs conditioner too, just a lesser amount.

My other two children can’t take conditioner left on their hair in the slightest amount, it’s really gross on them. They have slippery straight hair overall so far. Russell has a bit of a swing to his hair, but no natural S-wave at all. His hair puffs out ugly in an odd way if it’s blown-dry with any conditioner left on it. But it won’t dry into curl at all if naturally dried with conditioner left on. I know that hair can change, and he could get curlier hair when he’s older.

Victoria just has straight hair. It’s changing color. It’s getting more and more tinges of red as time goes by. Of course she could end up with curly hair, but she shows no sign of having even “sort of” wavy hair, whereas Russell “sort of” does.

I’m a mess with getting pictures done, with my laptop dead. So if I get that all sorted out with the desktop I’ll see about getting a cute few photos of Asa’s hair from different angles one of these days.

NY Observer Gets Curly Hair

Is She Straight, Or… A Secret Botticelli? Girls Scorn Curls by Liz Krieger [Google Cache]

This is a humorous piece about something I’m very familiar with . Curly hair, and straightening it and pretending it wasn’t really curly.

I myself blowed it out in my teens. I also chemically straightened it by myself in my home bathroom. That was the early 80’s. I thankfully realized that I had really cool hair when it was wet … hmm. But it always dried up then, into a big blownup ball of furr. I HAD to blowdry it on HOT with a brush and curl it under and out to get it to go straight. I had to do that or it’d be frizzy and horrid.

I have a school picture of my hair in fine form. Late in the day it was finally my turn to get snapped. The camera chose to unveil the horizontal lines around my head. Straight hair with horizontal puffed out lines around my head at different levels. It was a huge crimped relaxed style, and super ugly.

What happened? Moisture. It was Florida. It was sweaty and hot in the hallways. My hair desperately tried to fluff up … but since it was blown out and didn’t get all wet, just humidity around it … it crimped up funny horizontal lines instead. It took me seeing that picture and thinking about it long and hard to realize that I looked like that more often than not. My “eye” straightened my hair out, but the real vision of me was frightening daily. I mean, I started out the day with it straight and smooth, and without being privelaged to see it happen, transformed to an oddity daily. My first look at the picture was of complete horror! It really was something to have to adjust to, that I don’t look how I think I look. That was a stepping off point somehow, for the time in the near future that I figured out that my hair looked great when it was wet, as long as it stayed wet.

I never had the privelage of a super great hot straightening like Liz Krueger talks about in her article. My hair was weird when it was chemically straightened. It was a strange process and freaked me out … it seemed my hair was gelly gummy stretchy during the process … comb goop through the hair and comb it in well. Oohh, now that I know I’m glad I survived! That was nasty stuff to do to my own hair.

I have other horror stories with my hair. I’ll save those for another time.

I found this article today because someone searched one of my sites for curly hair and lavender … so that set me out to see the page ranking, curious, not WANTING to be on top as some individuals online are … comment spammers, anyhow I got waylaid and started looking at other sites, and a second search produced that article. It’s dated for today, so that was great timing on the searcher to my site! Without that I’d not have been looking around for curly hair articles. Especially since that site is a “registered users” site, I’d not have had access to it. So I linked to the google cache of it, for as long as that’s there. I have a capture of the page in Firefox, so at least I have a good copy of it for my own enjoyment. Too bad it’ll go away to nether regions eventually out here.

I must add here that I didn’t grow up thinking I had curly hair. I didn’t. I seemed to have “hair with body” as a child. Sweet blonde smooth locks that flipped under at the ends, and up on those other ends, but not “curly” not even “wavy”.

Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s that was when we didn’t know so much about hair. We now know that 60% of people (Americans? or ALL PEOPLE?) have curly or wavy hair, different hair that needs to be babied. But it’s WORTH IT!

So for me it was culture shock to find out that MY HAIR IS REALLY CURLY!

It wasn’t just wavy … it was soft corkscrews, some tighter, tighter when I was in my twenties, for sure. My early teens saw me change from girl to turning-woman, which darkened my hair color and changed the texture and wave to distinctly different.

I had no support, and so blew it out to “make it obey”. I never “let it go”.

At the beach my hair looked good, like a walk on the beach with my relatives, my aunt said “you have great beach hair!” with pride and jealousy mixed into the statement. I was proud, but knew that everyday wasn’t a beach time. 🙁 My hair at the beach shone, even blown out, it just got looser, the body evened out and with it blowing around in the ocean breezes it separated into pieces of hair, locks, that just were so nice, but not “curly”. You do know, if you know curly, that is totally curly. It’s just the curly without the curl. It’s just the curly peeking out in supreme conditions (sea air), which would give way to unfurled curls if I got it wet in the Atlantic’s waters. But that’s just beach hair. It never turned out so nice at home day in and day out.

I finally put two and two together and had a love/hate relationship with my curly hair in my late teens, beach good. 🙂

Then “Against All Odds” the movie, was out. Ah, the hair of that girl got me wanting it. I got it cut at a place super close to my house, it was just across the street angularly from us, a small place, not filled with people, a haven for an introvert like me! At any rate, she (the stylist) introduced me to “hair gel” and the “new curly me” was born, but it was short. I had ups and downs with lengths from then on, but always with gel on the outside of my hair. I sought out humectant conditioners and used more of that than shampoo, but all those years I still shampooed first. Silly. Strip it and add it back on. That’s not so good. We know that now. Well, at least I do. I meant the “collective we” of curldom understanders.

It’s been awhile now since I’ve gone to “conditioner-only” washing. My hair is still curly and needs to be worked with everyday. It’s really long though, so is quite a pain to re-wet daily. I have gone about with it in pony tails after a day or two, without daily washing, and it gets less curly. I’m still abusing it those days. I am pledging now to take even better care of my curly hair and always wear it curly, even if it means I have to wash these long locks every single day.

I will make a comparison here to my “before” method, maybe my curly hair looked curlier a day or two after a wash, whereas today it doesn’t, because I was stripping, re-moisturizing, gelling, laquering, and spraying this and that over top — my curls were locked in with that “curly treatment”.

I’m totally “natural” now, and so my loose curls can flatten out (but still be frizzy curly flattened curly, makes no sense, but it’s there.) It happens over night, and when I get frustrated doing something and jam it up into a band to hold it high. So a few days of that and it’s worse every day.

Curly Girl suggests every day, or every other day … and so I admit here it’s true, but I need to come to grips with doing that with long hair. Long Botticelli curls are nice. I’m glad God gave them to me. I wish for curlier sometimes, but what I have is me.

I look best as me. Natural me.

The article linked above talks about that sort of thing. How girls don’t look right sometimes, they are Fake Straighteners. It looks false, worse than a toupee. I’ll take a stab at it and say “Let it out! Let it get wet, moisturize it, work with it, give it a chance to be real for you!” I can say that. I was there once. So if you are a fake straight girl, leap right into the best of treatment for your real curly hair. Get the book Curly Girl, and let live!

Cross-posted at: Hyperthinking Weblog

Categorized as Curly Hair

January 26, 2005 Hair Length


Today [January 26] I took a photo of the Back of Victoria to document her hair length. Then I had Frank take one of me just the same.

Victoria has very smooth straight hair. (I’ve taught her to comb it every day, but she doesn’t, so when I notice, as today wanting to photograph it, that she hasn’t combed it in at least two days it’s full of little knots. So I used a teeny bit of oil to help untangle things and whoa the burnished highlights that showed up!)

She has some strands of red in that dark blond, I’ve seen them now and then, buried in the depths of her hair, whole strands, several grouped together, lovely copper/auburn red. The flash of the photo really showed up something the eye doesn’t see as well, but it’s there. My own head was blond when I was a child and when my hair began to darken in photos I was still a blonde to the eye, but the photo didn’t totally lie, as my own picture shows my color today, as it’s been since sometime in my teens, it’s photogenic and coming, just not as detectable to the eye at the time, and time does so forth the truth. 🙂

Victoria gets a hair wash once a week (sometimes not, but that’s not what we desire), and a conitioning that is rinsed out right away. I use California Babies Shampoo/Body Wash and my own WholeFoods brand Conditioner on her. –But I must rinse it out very well, or her hair is very heavy, dull, and disgusting.

We have been growing her hair out since the day she was born, and had many setbacks with her hair staying so baby fine for so long, then when it came in thicker –three separate “cutting” accidents via her and her brothers using illicit scissors applications in secret … well, it’s only been since the last year or so that it’s been getting really longer.

[I can’t put an exact date on it from memory. Maybe I wrote about it in a post here. I’ll have to look for that and repost the pertinent info HERE if so.]

My hair, I trim off scraggly ends piece by piece as need be. Since it’s “curly” it’s ‘curl by curl’ mostly. The longest part of my hair is the scraggliest. When Asa was born [September 2000] I had my post pardum hair fall-out as I usually do after a birth, some months after it. So that would have been sometime in early 2001. Not long after that I noticed a lot of new growth all over [much different than the prior post pardum experiences], and most noticeable at the nape of my neck and at the front of my hairline. So that would be sometime in mid-2001. All that hair now is below my shoulders, I’m not sure how low, but lower than that. So the hair that is longest is fairly lonely, with it’s group buddies further up in the mass.

If I trimmed off the length right now I’d lose inches, but I wouldn’t lose “much hair”, if that makes sense. I’m happy to keep it uneven/scraggly for now. It’s curly so that doesn’t matter to me, I don’t do “blunt cuts” and “even straight cuts”. Curls need cut in their proper position as each curl matters individually. So crooked edges are not really noticeable, and scraggly ends are moreso but still just par for the course, there and not “ugly” per se.

The last “hair dresser” cut was while I was pregnant with #2. My hair got “less curly” during that time. So I guess that’s why I had it cut. But I grew it out after that again. It was only a cut to my shoulders, mostly. I had bangs then, and between then and pregancy #3 I decided to grow those bangs out (not much time between them, Nov. 1998 to before Sept. 2000). That “new growth” after Asa’s birth, I kept a fringe of it for bangs, I had no other bangs at that time, they were long gone grown out. So I did that for a few months, then said “Forget it, I’m gonna grow these frilly worthless hairs out too” [it was a frustratingly too small amount of hair to do much with seeing as it went every direction being curly and too free, not enough bulk to make ringlets.]

That hair is way below my chin now. The shortest of my hairs.

Sometime ago, time melds into itself, I can’t recall how long, it’s just been over a year at the least, I began washing via using only conditioner. I’m not faithful to the Curly Girl (the book that introduced me to the method) method doing it every day. I never washed my hair every day anyhow. Once a week being a homebody is enough, if not too much for me.

So I developed my way being that if I wash it, I’ll wear it down that day, then the next day I’ll wear it down and just put conditioner in it dry to my satisfaction. I may do that for another few days, or put it up, in a pony tail, or tie it into a self-knot. The longer I go like that then, the more it flattens out. Really it’s nicest the day it’s washed, but it takes so long to dry with moisturizers/gel in it that it’s rather a whole day affair before it’s totally dry and then the day is practically over.

My hair isn’t really thick, but it’s light to medium density hairs and a lot of them that make a decent bulk, but that beef up with moisture to look way bigger than they really are. It’s wooly hair. 🙂 That’s why the “conditioner only” method works so well with me.

I don’t have the spring of alot of inches that Curly Girl talks about that hair should have to classify its curl. But I have all the other descriptives for curly hair of the R type, ack, the name continuously escapes me. I must get my Curly Girl out one of these days.

I guess that if I took even better care of it my hair would improve. And once my hair is longer and some of the bottom stuff cut off it’ll show more improvement as well. Besides that, the hair on top is the heavy canopy type and it holds my under curls down. I need to get the right clips to dry my hair with to keep it upright on top, instead of heavy downness bringing. [This goes to that R type, the name I can’t recall.]

My hair is very thirsty. My hair defies classification. So does all my coloring. Seasons, you know those? My eyes are dark green. My skin is fair, my hair is brown/red. I’m an Autumn, right? WRONG! I’m not. I call myself a Summer, and others have agreed with me about it, but that my eyes and hair defy that class. Blues and denim blue’s and blue-reds are my favorites. I can wear Autumn Colors, but I feel ugly in them. I look like my hair in them. Not like ME. They pull me away from me and hide me under an ugly film of orangy-ick. But I can get away with some of those colors if they aren’t near my face, so diluting them I can wear them. I wear all Summer colors fine. I wear some Winter colors well, but not all of them.

So I’m a mixed up thing. That’s according to the Color Me Beautiful and the Shaklee color system back in the 1980’s.

So then, my hair isn’t corkscrew tight, but is nearly as thirsty as that, maybe not AS much as corkscrew, but I put conditioner and oils straight on my hair and it drinks it up.

I need to get on a roll and keep doing it and do it and do it and get it going well.

Victoria - Jan 26, 2005

Victoria – January 26, 2005
A tad oily from Olive Oil spot used to help untangle some nasties before photo.

Marysue - Jan 26, 2005

Maisy – January 26, 2005
Washed day before, so a bit drier than should have been, taken outside and breeze blowing sides out a bit as well. Of course it looks less curly since I’d slept on it overnight as well. 🙂

Curly Girl Hair

UPDATE: I am seriously re-thinking how this post should be done, and have changed the middle part of it, adding a paragraph and some photos. I really see an entire project in this topic coming about, and so … you will see future changes to this post, and maybe who knows what! It’s own section on my site, or re-tooling some things here so that WP shows this category on it’s own, not intertwining it with everything else en-total. Hard to explain, but I see it as a photo enhanced story of my life with my hair (how vain that sounds!) I mean it to be documentation of the evolution of my hair, and a journal of future happenings. I like hair. And it’s something most people have. I know it’s an important topic to address for so many women have struggles growing hair out, and dealing with curly hair. Combine the two … 🙂 For curly haired people, life is different, everything is so connected to one’s hair. That’s true, whether or not one is a follower of Christ. Our bodies affect life directly 😉

I have curly hair. I am a curly girl. I have long hair. I want longer hair. I want longer curlier hair. Tough job.

I didn’t always have curly hair. When I was small it wasn’t curly. But when you know the difference between straight hair and curly hair, you can use hindsight to see the truth. I didn’t have straight hair as a child.

I had some waves in my hair. By the time I was in my early teens I had curly hair. I fought it, like so many other women before me and after me have. (meaning older: generations and younger generations).

A couple of years ago my sister recommended I get the book Curly Girl. I did. It changed the way I look at my hair, and treat my hair. It wasn’t all new news, but a good driver to do something different and so it was nice to see that my experients and findings were right, with new news of HOW to do part of it, how to put it all together right. I haven’t been exactly faithful to that though. I am re-dedicated to the practice of good hair, no bad hair days. I started in this rededication earlier this year, but was sidelined when I lost babyfour on March 30th. Shari, on an email list I’m on, asked me about conditioner, and if I was still washing my hair like I had talked about on the list about 2 years ago. Thanks to her, I dug out my book and today my hair is nicer than it was yesterday. Ever since I started, I have not used shampoo though, it’s been over 2 years. I have put my hair in too many ponytails this last year though. Not ENOUGH conditioner treatments either.

Yummy recipe:

4 Tablespoons olive or almond oil [I use the good stuff: Cold Pressed Virgin, the dark green stuff]
4 Tablespoons of your favorite conditioner (I used Pantene)
2-3 drops Essential oil like musk or another (I use Lavender)

Mix that up in a bowl and it’s a wonderful treat for dry curls, curls always need something every once in awhile.

I put this on my hair, all of it, and wound my hair up and tied it with a bandana. Overnight it worked, and in the morning a warm shower and conditioner wash had my hair happy.