Book Meme: What’s nearest you

Found this Book Meme out on ‘the web’

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don’t search around and look for the “coolest” book you can find. Do what’s actually next to you.

Book next to me -the closest one, sent by my mother the other week.

Page 123, sentence 5, (actually counted the 5th complete sentence, ignored the hangover from page 122)

If it grieves you deeply that your spouse seldom gives you a gift for any occasion, then perhaps your primary love language is “Recieving Gifts.”

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Committment to Your Mate –Now With Comprehensive Study Guide–
By Gary Chapman
——————–

I have a prior edition of this book, I think, as well as I do know that I have a children’s version of this book, which isn’t FOR children, but ABOUT children, learning how to read THEIR love language, as a parent. That’s what introduced me to this topic and I learned that what is on Page 123 sentence 5 is what MY primary love language is. So this Book Meme coincidentally snagged a real live post topic for me!

I decided to do this Book Meme and did it by starting this post, copying the Book Meme instructions into it, THEN getting the book closest to me. I had no agenda other than following instructions, not knowing with full realization what book was closest to me.

So this is the one “love language” that I think most people this is phony or dead-wrong, the one not to have as it’s selfish, materialistic and such. How wrong that all is!

It’s also not the opposite, that it’s fine and any old gift counts since “it’s the thought that counts”.

Bingo! It’s the source of grief for me all my life. It IS the thought that counts. It’s not the monetary value per se. It’s about quality … quality of thought. Light thought, no credit for gift given. Well maybe some, maybe a tad, or maybe a negative sum.

It’s that frivolous “It’s the thought that counts” which is usually employed to mean “You don’t like it, but you have to pretend you do since it’s “the thought that counts” they remembered your birthday at least.”

Yeah, but they put no THOUGHT into it.

For those people who like to Receive Gifts, it’s their primary love language, it means that their loved ones tell them they love you by their deep thoughts in how to show it through something of physical staticness.

It doesn’t have to be costly in $, or time, or thought, it should be easy to think deeply about your loved one. Consider something that would have deep value to that loved one, mean something truly wonderful.

For me it’s easy: I like blue, cats, flowers, candy bars, gadgets, computer geeky stuff …

Sure a pricey object is a gift of love sometimes. But then so is a candy bar. Particularly one I like. Rapunzel makes a good organic good chocolate bar. It’s pricier than hersheys, and so much better, but still cheap. It’s a great gift to person with Receiving Gifts as their Primary Love Language.

How about a coffee mug with a cat or cat saying, or bluebirds, or just a blue mug. Or a teacup that is rimmed with “platinum” since that’s something else I love.

Catnip for my cats, so I can play with them.

A flower picked by the roadside, of blue or gorgeous hue or design.

A new potted herb, to transplant into my herb garden. Something nice: fragrant or flowery, or culinary in purpose.

A pretty pot and some potting soil and a packet of seeds. Some sprouting materials to grow many of something. More than one pretty pot. Seeds that are good for the garden, flowers of herbalness, that can be in pot or the garden. Something like this is a super neat gift, a way to start something, have many of them and do multiple different things with them. Have plants inside and out from a packet of seeds.

A poem written just for me. A story written just for me. A witty comment written down just for me. Those are free things, just mind power need be applied and a steady hand to try and make it legible on paper for me.

A gift to me from my dear husband might be that he “teach himself better handwriting” and then use that to write portions of anything out to me on cards, note cards, index cards, pretty cards, anything.

Something else then is books. Bring me home a book now and then. Something you see in the used bookstore that strikes you as “something she’d love”. Bring me home children’s books. Picture books. Coffee table books. Journals to write in. Paper. Ink for computer printer. Stamps. Puzzles. Scrapbook makings. A desk. A craft carrying case. Boxes of all sizes. Wood crates from stores that give them away from their unpacking of goods, freebees or cheap couple of bucks. The things in this paragraph are cheap or cost a bit of something more, or more than that. This is the area to get super creative in, and find cool things for less by going to antiques stores, used bookstores, thrift stores, etc. Some of the things are useful needful, like computer printer stuff. It keeps one happy to know they can print in color 🙂

Now something I want that would really float my boat is a feather old-time pen and envelope wax seal kit and ink bottle. There are kits like that at bookstores lately. Really cute and right up my alley. This has a monetary cost though. Also in these sort of places are cool thermal coffee things (one at B&N is tall and stainless steel with pink outer shell, so pretty!) it’s a travel mug type. There are tea-pots-for-one of many designs. These cost too. Of course. One must use money of higher increments at some point during the year 😉

I realize that most of my ideas here cost money. But they also are things that may just spark other ideas that don’t cost money.

This post is dedicated to my husband Frank. Feel free to refer back to this post anytime you need to or want to, bookmark it dearie! 😉

My mom sent this book recently, I said above, the book this post is about. This copy has a study guide in it, so that’s different. Frank said he’d be happy to study it with me. That we need to do. I don’t know what his primary love language is. It’s confusing for some people and easy to understand in others. I didn’t understand it about myself until I read the book about finding your child’s love language. That book made it clearer than daylight to me. I saw myself in the child-examples, how I was as a child, and it transfers rightly over to adulthood, love languages don’t change much. It’s not that they don’t change at all. I think part of this is that all love languages need to be represented in one’s life, just one or two are of primary importance and will be in balance when all needs are met more or less. It’s that one’s primary may seem acutely too sharp if other things are out of kilter, I think.

I’ll close this post by reinterating what it is about Receiving Gifts that is key. It’s thinking deeply about what’s good to give someone like that. It’s meaning deep things by giving something. It’s not just “trying” but it’s excelling at trying to try one’s best to please deeply” It’s to truly know what one would like. It’s to not give something that will make them think “What did he give me THAT for!”. That reaction in someone like me is something of a bad nature. It feels bad, it’s a socked in the stomach kind of feeling. It’s truly blue and sad. It’s a letdown, failure sort of thing. It can be maddening too, depending on the situation. It happens to be more like that when relatives do something that is obviously not well thought out. Or they don’t understand that that thing is really weird, why would anyone want it, let alone me – a relative that … ok it’s this: give things you KNOW they want. OR find something safe and great, like a CD cheap. Don’t give white elephants. It might not hurt the giver, but the givee feels stomped on and can’t say anything, has to hold in that pain.

It’s the thing about having that as one’s love language primarily, that makes the givee in most situations a thoughful giver as well. So it’s hurtful to want to give lovely presents to others, and always get ugly present from them themselves. DH learned to get things from department stores and get them wrapped, for some gifts, there. That puts a huge smile on my face, it means he cares, he knows I appreciate a lovely wrapped box, with something lovely inside, small on sale cheap is fine as long as it’s nice and wearable, usable nice to look at, touch, use. Whatever. Wrap it up nice, put it in cute bag, frilly froo froo hanging out the sides, bows ah, that’s love. (but the insides have to have value too or else the wrappings don’t count as much.) 🙂